


if anybody asks, i'm taken

by gaypiratedivorce, meronicavars



Series: Taken [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence from October 2014 onwards, Canon-Typical Parental Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Closeted Character, F/F, General warnings:, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Chrissie White, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Non-Canonical Character Death, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Chrissie White, POV Robert Sugden, Secret Relationship, Updates bi-weekly, Work In Progress, lavender marriage, specific warnings to be added in chapter notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:47:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29789412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypiratedivorce/pseuds/gaypiratedivorce, https://archiveofourown.org/users/meronicavars/pseuds/meronicavars
Summary: Robert Sugden’s been working for Lawrence White for six months when his boss’ daughter asks him out. Chrissie White is rich and sharp and beautiful and, as he soon finds out, gay. But she has a proposition Robert cannot reject.Their engagement party is opulent enough to warrant a photograph and two paragraphs in the Yorkshire Post. The day after their wedding, the death of Katie Sugden on the Whites’ land makes the Hotten Courier’s front page. Robert’s unfortunate pub outing doesn’t get any headlines, but his affair with Aaron becomes the village’s favorite topic of conversation for a good two weeks. When a bullet to the chest puts Robert in a coma, the local TV station dedicates a five minute long segment to the news of Chrissie’s arrest.Eighteen months after their wedding, they get their decree absolute. Chrissie toaststo the perfect ending to a perfect marriage,and Robert snorts champagne up his nose. Their amicable divorce goes by mostly unnoticed, noteworthy only to a few.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Charity Dingle/Chrissie White, Chrissie White/Charity Dingle, Robert Sugden & Chrissie White, other non-canon relationships will be tagged as they are mentioned
Series: Taken [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189667
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	if anybody asks, i'm taken

**Author's Note:**

> _Taken, the musical:_ [marry me a little](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7qAKa1HiA1ZhEXxVDeELVz?si=Qrew5VnkRa2dbRujioy1GQ)
> 
> _Chrissie & Robert’s playlist:_   
>  [if anybody asks, i'm taken](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/67oeRgM1O1NHuHVrNB6aV5?si=Jk1V2ColT0OUWdL7v87U-g)
> 
> _Chrissie’s playlist:_   
>  [living a life far off from who you are](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2zPqPMssatq10701qAyGTK?si=E9hs8xA6ShOVvjW6AfWldg)
> 
> _Robert’s playlist:_   
>  [as long as you say you don't need me](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/67Q4xJWRE57QQGh5zYPKaW?si=cN9bIpRsSlqMgvqrPPeqoA)
> 
>   
> 
> 
>   
> 
> 
> **A recollection of events, as follows:**
> 
>   
> 1\. at least in this lifetime - August 26th, 2016  
> 2\. marry me a little - June 1st, 2013  
> 3\. got hit with a soul in a bullet - September 25th, 2015  
> 4\. we don’t gotta go nowhere at all - October 23rd, 2014  
> 5\. i didn't bend and now we eat the consequence - September 23rd, 2015  
> 6\. it's always been just him and me together - May 15th, 2014  
> 7\. the weight i'm under - November 20th, 2014  
> 8\. all the words we spared - September 2nd, 2015  
> 9\. a rush at the beginning - November 25th, 2014  
> 10\. million dollar secret - July 24th, 2015  
> 11\. we all have a hunger - November 28th, 2014  
> 12\. someone protect me from the one i love - July 22nd, 2015  
> 13\. there is freedom within, there is freedom without - December 4th, 2014  
> 14\. i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole - July 8th and 9th, 2014  
> 15\. open hand or closed fist would be fine - December 8th to 29th, 2014  
> 16\. i smile when i'm angry, i cheat and i lie - June 17th to 20th, 2015  
> 17\. won't you break the chain with me - June 1st, 2012  
> 18\. for you i'd even try to turn the tide - April 29th, 2015  
> 19\. the world and the way it makes you feel afraid - January 1st and 2nd, 2015  
> 20\. it's my own design and it's my own remorse - April 19th, 2015  
> 21\. still in constant denial - January 9th, 2015  
> 22\. didn't know i was lonely 'til i saw your face - March 28th to April 3rd, 2015  
> 23\. makes the flame burn good - January 19th, 2015  
> 24\. didn't know i was broken 'til i wanted to change - March 26th, 2015  
> 25\. i'll lie if you want me to - January 29th, 2015  
> 26\. every woman that i've slept with, every friendship i've neglected - October 1st, 2013  
> 27\. a classic love affair - January 30th to February 5th, 2015  
> 28\. pick up the debris of our bitter past - February 14th to 19th, 2015  
> 29\. too close to the fire - February 3rd, 2015  
> 30\. i’ll be right behind you - February 6th, 2015  
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 26th, 2016. Chrissie and Robert share a celebratory toast at Home Farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we broke the 30k wordcount on this draft sometime last week and could no longer stand ourselves so here we are, posting it. we already have a third fully written out and the rest of the fic is outlined. if you've read our previous joint soap fic, [tccj](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26536822/chapters/64684564), you know we're mean but not late. 
> 
> this fic will read as a single work, a canon divergence that starts with robert and chrissie's arrival at emmerdale and ends with robert getting shot. we posted it as a series because we have a fully outlined part two which will cover the aftermath of the shooting, up to late 2016. still, this first part will be a complete story. there's also plans for other things within this same universe but, well, we always have plans for other things. if you want to write anything using the divergence(s) proposed by this fic, please go ahead, and know that we'd love to read it. 
> 
> tuagh likes to make things more complicated than they have to be for the Art™, which is why they, as the intellectual and scholar they are, decided chrissie's POV should be a forward moving timeline, and robert's POV a backwards moving timeline, with added scenes pre-emmerdale return. in case you hadn't noticed, tuagh was a musical theatre major.
> 
> **no specific warnings for this chapter.**

_so i bet all i have on that_ _  
_ _furrowed brow_

_and at least in this lifetime_ _  
_ _we're sticking together_

— Me and My Husband, Mitski

#####  **August 26th, 2016 — Robert**

The picture on the vanity is from their engagement party, Robert carrying Chrissie bridal style with the out of focus crowd as backdrop in an ornate golden frame. The bedside lamps, the handles on the dark wood dresser, the corners of the mirror frame, the wedding bands on their ring fingers are either solid or plated gold. It doesn't feel as oppressive as it used to, but it's still as opulent, as ostentatious. Just like their engagement party had been, more guests in that rented-out hall than people live in all of this village, more money spent on champagne than Robert's childhood home was worth. It blinded him once, all of that money, all of that gold. 

Chrissie's earrings are also gold, the corners of her lips almost touching them, the smile taking over her face. She's got one elbow hooked around his neck, laughter on her mouth, feet kicking in the air; just like she kicked and shrieked and playfully slapped at his chest when Robert swooped her off her feet during the engagement party, just before the picture on their vanity was shot. In the photograph they are kissing —crowd hooting and hollering kinda kissing, wolf-whistling from the audience kinda kissing. Unlike that kiss, Chrissie's screaming laughter when Robert unceremoniously tosses her on their bed isn't for show. 

Chrissie clutches the champagne bottle to her chest when Robert drops her, bounces on the mattress with a delighted cackle and yells in mock-outrage when Robert promptly falls on the bed next to her and snatches the bottle out of her grasp. He gives her a big, cheeky grin as his fingers deftly loosen the cage around the bottle. He didn't always know his way around a champagne cork, wasn't always somebody who just kept limited edition bottles laying around. Not four years ago he was crashing any event with an open bar he could talk his way into, chatting up divorcees at weddings and out-of-towners in conferences. That was how he met Lawrence White, actually. Loud and boastful and full of insecurities Robert could easily exploit, the old widower had been his foot inside the door. But Chrissie… 

Chrissie had been unexpected. She gives him that warning squint that means he better not spill anything on her duvet, the bottle pops open in Robert's hand. No spills.

"Don't do that."

Robert stops with the bottle a breath away from his lips, looks at her from where he's propped on his elbow. "What?"

Chrissie clicks her tongue disapprovingly, tilts her head to the side. "Get a couple glasses."

He groans, drops his head back, and Chrissie steals the bottle away from him. She purses her lips and huffs when Robert begins shuffling down the bed, and he offers a smile that he knows Chrissie finds obnoxious. After a slap to his chest and a roll of her eyes, she gets up, very primly fixes the shoe that's come loose at the heel, and shoots him one last glare before walking out of their room. Robert watches her go, a flowing skirt and her carefully styled curls swaying behind her, until she disappears down the stairs. After the wedding Chrissie had closed the door to their room and stood there for a moment, her back to him, a tremble running down the line of her shoulders. Their room, because they had just become husband and wife. He remembers thinking _this isn't how it was supposed to go,_ remembers the dread that overcame him. The sense of impending doom that's always chased him seemed stronger than ever then. It's almost gone now. He feels lighter. Almost free.

Robert toes off his shoes because he knows Chrissie will scold him otherwise, hears the soft thud when they hit the carpet. A memory comes to him, a tangle of limbs in this same bed, a week stolen from time. He remembers Home Farm felt like his own personal kingdom then, away from prying eyes. He thought that was what freedom felt like, even with Katie's weight like a stone chained to his feet. The click of Chrissie's heels up the stairs and approaching down the hallway bring him back to reality, her sight is a relief. 

Chrissie's skirt today is a pale blue, her blouse white, and two champagne flutes dangle upside-down between her fingers as she balances herself on one foot, then the other, kicks off her dark red heels and finally steps on the carpet with bare feet and a small sigh of relief. She looks lighter too, an ease to her step when she approaches the dresser that Robert's rarely, if ever, seen before. There's always been a tension to Chrissie, something pulling at her even when it's just the two of them. Now she puts the bottle down next to their engagement picture, unclasps the heavy golden chain around her neck and it clatters onto the vanity as she takes hold of the two glasses of champagne. She turns to Robert, and her smile is as true as he's ever known. Maybe this is what Chrissie looks like, finally unbound. 

He accepts the flute, the bed dips under her weight. "To the perfect ending to a perfect marriage," Chrissie intonates. Robert snorts, and champagne goes up his nose. 

After a brief interlude of laughter and undignified coughing, Robert gives her his most skeptical look. "Are you being facetious?" It's not what he wants to ask, of course, but they've known each other long enough. Her face softens, some of the emotion she was still holding close to her chest seems to loosen up. She folds her legs under her, takes a sip of her champagne.

"Maybe a bit," she concedes with a flip little grin. She allows the last of her cheer to slip away, and finally gives him a tired, but true smile. He thinks they could have been happy, in another life, but Chrissie would slap him if he were to say that. Rather than offend her, he tips the flute to her and they hold gazes over the rims of their glasses as they both sip their drinks.

"It was a good wedding, wasn't it?" Robert says at last, and Chrissie's smile is bitter but not lacking in humor. He offers a chuckle, but still mumbles, "Despite everything."

Chrissie shakes her head, tilts her chin up and necks what's left of her champagne like Robert would a beer can. When she pushes the empty flute into his hand he rolls his eyes, but decides he can grant her one last act of chivalry. He grimaces and groans about it, of course, but gets up anyway and tosses back what’s left of his own glass. Only when Robert's standing with his back to her, champagne bottle in hand, does Chrissie finally respond: "Despite everything." 

Robert meets his own eyes in the reflection, wonders if he finds himself changed. Even as he puts on his best smile he remembers Katie's words, tries to shake them off. She's looked at him from inside every mirror ever since the day she died and here she is now, indignantly saying _seriously, he practices that who-me smile in the mirror at home!_ When he turns to look at Chrissie, his is the face of a man without a care in the world.

"Well, you know," (Chrissie's smile as she accepts the champagne flute from him is almost coquettish. She tilts her head to indicate that she's listening to him.) "I look good in blue, and you looked beautiful." 

She chuckles, shakes her head, and says, "I know." She's trying to be cheeky, Robert wants to tell her not to smile for his benefit. They fall silent instead, sip at their champagne. He wanted this, he reminds himself, but still he looks up at her and finds it breaks his fucking heart. 

"I'll never forget how you looked walking down that aisle," he whispers. Chrissie's eyes meet his, and the memory hits him like a shovel to the back of the head. There was a single tear hanging from her eyelashes as she stepped up onto the altar. It rolled down her left cheek slowly as Robert choked on his vows. "Angelic," he sighs, and she gives him a sardonic little grimace.

"Despite everything." 

"Despite everything," Robert echoes. He remembers looking over and behind Chrissie's shoulder, at Aaron standing at the very back of the church. Remembers the way his voice broke around the words, the single tear catching on the corner of Chrissie's lips. 

There's an edge to her laughter now. Robert would almost call it hysterical. "Can't really call it the happiest day of our lives, can we?" she says, a sour smile on her mouth. She can get hysterical for sure, but Robert doesn't think this is about to be one of those times. She just looks, sounds exhausted. Robert feels fucking wiped out.

"No," he admits. He raises his glass just a bit, offers a meek little smile. "But today's alright, isn't it?"

"I guess we'll see," Chrissie grants him with a flick of her wrist, gazes towards the vanity. Robert wonders if she's looking at the photograph, at their rings, at her hair in the mirror. At nothing at all. They've known each other long, but Robert is still never quite sure of what, exactly, is going on inside Chrissie's mind. She keeps her fears close to her chest and her secrets even closer —like Robert, she's protected by carefully crafted and curated lies. And, if she's anything like him, there are a lot of lies she tells herself. And a lot of them she buys.

"Well, you'll have to outdo yourself at your next one," he says, and finds he wants to make her laugh. So he tries to joke about it, sprinkles some self-deprecation on top, "Make sure there's no extenuating circumstances and make sure you're marrying someone you want to marry."

But she doesn't laugh. If anything, she looks a bit guilty after that. "I did want to marry you," she says, a furrow to her brow. 

Robert smiles, and the raise of his eyebrows says more than enough. "You know what I mean."

He only gets to enjoy having the last word for a second, because the next moment his phone's vibration startles him and he spills champagne down his chin. He huffs and shifts to sit back against the headboard, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. At least the notification is a perfect excuse to avoid her mocking grin, Robert thinks, as he pointedly looks away from her and down at his mobile. He sees Aaron's name on the screen, pauses. He's already thumbing his phone unlocked when he realizes that he's smiling. Robert doesn't need to look at her, he can feel Chrissie's satisfied little smirk on him. 

He hates feeling like this. No, it's not that he hates it. It's that it scares the shit out of him. He's never felt like this before, Robert thinks, and Katie purses her lips disapprovingly at him from inside the mirror. He struggles to think about his love for Katie now —like looking at a corpse, he finds that thinking about her too long brings bile up his throat. Before he can overthink himself into a panic, Chrissie's voice snaps him out of it. 

"Don't know if I'm really the marrying type." She looks, sounds thoughtful. This is not really something they talk about, Robert realizes. Chrissie sips at her champagne, then glances at the near-empty glass for a few seconds before she finally speaks again. "Not when it comes down to it."

He replies without thinking, a wistful, "I am," that has Chrissie’s eyebrows arching in surprise.

"You think so?" she asks. 

Robert mulls it over, chews on the inside of his cheek. Chrissie runs a finger along the rim of her glass, looks at him with inquisitive eyes. As much as it terrifies him, he can’t find in himself a trace of doubt. He wants to marry Aaron —someday, if he’ll have him— and he's known it for a while too, even if he wasn't ready to say it out loud just yet. Robert smiles and shrugs, because what else can he do? He can't just bare his heart to Chrissie unprompted, he can't burden her with his fears. She has enough to deal with. He grabs onto his last bit of bravado, says, "Yeah, I don't see why not. I know what I want, now."

And Chrissie smiles, reaches out to him. "Good," she says firmly, and her left hand takes hold of his right between them. She turns to face him, looks at him with fierce intensity, but her smile is gentle. "I'm happy," she says, softly.

"Me too," Robert replies, and it's only half a lie. As happy as he knows how to be, and he'll take that. 

Her words come out wavery. "You deserve it."

"You too," he says, and this part tastes true.

Chrissie's fingers tighten around his, her voice breaks on her toast. "Here's to us, then."

There's a knot in his throat, so he just raises his flute to her. The glasses clink together, they escape each other's eyes and exchange mumbled cheers. Robert looks at the picture on the vanity and can't help but remember the fight after the engagement party, the sour whiskey he swallowed without savoring it as Chrissie's shrill, furious voice drilled a hole into his skull. He remembers feeling only annoyance, maybe some anger on top. No guilt, no remorse. Yes, Robert wants to believe that he's a different man now, that he's changed. But he fears he's not.

He wants to ask, and finds himself searching for Chrissie's gaze, but when she pushes the hair away from her face and looks up there are tears at the corners of her eyes, and the words die behind his teeth. Instead he takes in a loud, shuddering breath; holds it; finally says, "I love you, you know?" 

Chrissie laughs a raspy laughter, and the first tear leaves a wet path on the powdery blush on her cheek. It’s immediately followed by a second, a third and a fourth. "Yes, I know, darling," she says, and she lets go of his hand to cover her mouth with her palm instead. Chrissie presses her eyes shut, and Robert gently untangles the almost empty champagne flute from her grasp. He turns to leave both glasses on the bedside table and, the moment he's got his back to her, he hears Chrissie's single, gasping sob. He moves slowly then, gives her time to hide her face from him if she wants to, but finds Chrissie's still-glassy eyes steady on him, sad and tired but maybe relieved, maybe grateful too. She gives him a shaky, but sincere smile. "I love you too."

He offers his hand, Chrissie squeezes his arm instead. Robert tries to speak, finds the words catch in his throat. He turns away, covers his mouth, coughs. He tries, and fails to hide that he's blinking tears away from his eyes. It's okay. He keeps Chrissie's secrets, and she will keep his. 

"Happy divorce, Chrissie."

She snorts, shakes her head, leans into him.

"Happy divorce, Robert," she replies sweetly, and places a wet kiss on his cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> **Updates every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month.**
> 
>   
> 
> 
> _Find us on social media:_  
> [@puentera](https://twitter.com/puentera) (Drea, prose); and [@birossbarton](https://twitter.com/birossbarton) (Tuagh, dialogues, dramaturg).


End file.
